Want To Be Taller? Grow Up and Be Tall

You think it would be cool or beneficial to be tall? Think again. Samaras, Elrick, and Storms (2003) tell us in their article "Is height related to longevity?" that tall people on average have shorter life spans. They explain that the correlation may explain the difference in lifespan between men and women, due to men being taller. In my opinion this is no reason to give up on your dreams of freakish height.

I am considered tall by some but not all. I am 6'4" which is short in the NBA, but tall in your average grocery store. I was requested to write about the benefits and the challenges of being tall, but remember I am not actually that tall. At least one Hub Pages staff is taller than me, our beloved Hub Pages communicator of awesomeness Ryan Hupfer.

I will brainstorm all the benefits of being tall and all the drawbacks, and then you can weigh in whether you want to continue to grow. Remember that it's never to early to start stunting your growth if you are having second opinions about being tall. Smoking, eating desert first, and going to bed late are always options if you chicken out. Probably the best way to find out if you really want to be tall is to give it a try. I tried out the short thing and decided it wasn't for me. Now I am "big for my size."

1. Easily Recognizable in a Crowd. This one could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on who you are. If you are one of America's Most Wanted then this is surely bad. And if one of America's Most Wanted criminals is shooting randomly into a crowd that you are in, being tall is not so cool anymore.
   
2. You are More Likely to Get the Job. I am not sure about this one; I do have a job currently. Let's mention that you are going to need more money to pay for more food, 2x sized clothes (or clothes from the big and tall men's store), and eventually knee and back surgery (I'll get to that later). It is true that when I was hired for my first job, I was told by management that I would be very useful as a Wal-Mart "Stockboy" because I could reach the top shelves without a ladder. I loved hearing the pages, "Stock-man with a ladder... ...or Blake to electronics for customer courtesy." That didn't keep me from starting out fifty cents lower than cashier pay at $5.50 an hour. Nor did it keep me from doing dirty, and sometimes dangerous jobs at 16. Thank goodness the already embarrassing Wal-Mart vest had no sleeves (refer to #8).
   
3. You Can Walk/Run Really Fast. This one isn't even true. It's a physics lesson. Running fast has a lot more to do with your natural athleticism, coordination, and training. Even though the stride is longer, it takes a lot longer to swing those long legs. Who do you think is faster Shaq or Spud Webb, or any center and point guard for that matter.
4. You Get to Ride the "Big" rides at the Amusement Park Earlier. This one is actually a cool one. I see no issues with this. You're never too young to die from a loose bolt on a carnival ride.
   
5. You can See Better at Concerts. Another good one, unless you are bootlegging the concert, someone catches you because you are tall, and you get kicked out and your camera gets smashed. Dude, that's a bummer.
6. More Easily Seen While Riding Your Bike. This one is good if you can find a bike with a high enough seat and you slouch enough to keep your head from functioning like a sail. Oh, and watch out for the tree branches.
7. Random People Spontaneously Interview You. This one is my favorite perk. Strangers must think tall people are really interesting. Unfortunately they always start the random interview with, "How's the weather up there," "Man, how tall are you?" or "Do you play basketball?" These are really fun questions to answer. I usually return the favor with, "How short are you?"
   
8. Clothes Look Much Better on You. Apparently I am some kind of a freak for stores like Macy's, J.C. Penney, Khol's, etc to not carry 36" length. So you better wear matching socks, and your sleeves will need to be rolled cause they're not long enough either. Good thing I DIDN'T eat my vegetables when I was a kid or it would be worse. Look who's right now, mom and dad.
   
9. People Look Up to You, Literally. This one is fine and dandy, until you start having back problems from slouching. While we're at it lets mention that sinks, tables, chairs, and other common items are built for someone a little more "average." In fact, my knee hurts right now from ramming it into the leg of a table at work.
10. Tall People are Better Fighters. Let's see... ..#10. Oh yeah there's that David and Goliath thing. Good thing that David guy isn't around now. Then my head might hurt too.
    

Uh... Hmmm. I can't think of any, so it must certainly be better to be tall. So take some human growth hormone, eat your vegetables, genetically engineer your zygote, smoke less, drink your milk, stretch out a lot, and choose tall parents (not necessarily in that specific order though). Hopefully this hub has educated you enough to make an informed decision when deciding how tall you want to be when you grow up. Maybe the trick is to never grow up, I haven't.